Change Your Frame & Change Your Life

I’ve been a longtime pessimist and defeatist.

Mike Cernovich helped me change that.

Most of my life, I’ve operated from a negative frame of mind.

In Gorilla Mindset, Mike explains that “frame” is how you talk to yourself. A positive frame means focusing on good outcomes. A negative frame means focusing on bad outcomes.

Mike says that your frame “will radically change not only your decisions, but your willingness to take risks and even the way you remember your decisions later on.”

And he’s right.

If you want to be successful, you better learn how to operate from a positive frame.

Gorilla Mindset: Chapter 2 – Mindset is a Choice – Change The Way You Perceive Life’s Challenges

I’ve always struggled maintaining a positive frame, but I’m getting better at it.

A powerful example of positive framing comes from one of my good friends. He is always positive about a challenge and never worried about any hardships he encounters.

During rush hour one day while riding shotgun on the way to the gym, I jokingly said, “Dude, I don’t get it. Literally everything opens up for you on the road. Lights, traffic, everything. It’s like Moses parting Priuses.”

My friend died laughing, but explained how he’s never worried about it and things simply seem to go that way for him. Basically, think positive, receive positive.

Over the past six months, I’ve been changing my frame to a more positive one. And guess what. I don’t have as many stoplights pissing me off as I once did (maybe I’m just not noticing them as much, who knows?). And I’ve started having “better luck.”

Start looking at your challenges as what is required to force you to grow. Every obstacle you face is a chance to become mentally, physically, or emotionally stronger.

It will transform you into the kind of person that is necessary for you to become in order to be successful.

“What You Focus On Is What You Feel”

That line comes from Tony Robbins, a famous motivational speaker and author.

In the past, I used to focus on my hardships and shortcomings. I’d focus on how I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I’d focus on how successful others were compared to me.

And my mental health suffered.

If you constantly focus on dark and depressed thoughts, you will be depressed. If you focus on positive thoughts, and put your energy behind achieving goals one step at a time, you will be happier.

Focus on how much you have accomplished so far in your life.

Focus on the gains you’ve already made in the gym, and how you are stronger than you were yesterday.

Focus on being thankful for having enough resources to work towards your goals, taking at least one step forward every single day.


In life, you will experience the pain of growth, or the pain of regret and failed dreams. I’d rather experience the pain of growth. I put in consistent work at the gym and my efforts pay off every single month. Keep working towards your goals, and one day soon you will reach them.

Success is a marathon, not a sprint. Your ability to be successful will be determined by your ability to “show up” and put in the work every single day. You must stay consistent and keep advancing towards your long-term goals.

The easiest way to do that is to keep a positive frame of mind.

Convince Your Inner Judge

Mike says to “imagine your consciousness is the judge or jury or parent or friend you must persuade. You want your conscious mind to believe in you.”

What he’s saying is if you don’t believe in yourself, then you won’t achieve your goals.

Your frame will directly influence your confidence. If you don’t believe you can accomplish a task, chances are, you won’t find the inspiration and motivation to get it done.

Success starts with believing in yourself, but it’s obtained by perseverance, by showing up every single day and putting in the work.

Don’t put yourself down. Don’t insult yourself, or call yourself stupid when you make a mistake.

Simply brush it off, and keep moving forward.

Frame goes hand in hand with visualization. You should look at experiences and challenges in a positive light, and visualize them as part of the necessary steps to reach your goals.

Uncomfortable conversations with women? Eventually it’ll be second nature.

Not as big as you want to be? Eventually you will reach your weight goal.

Don’t have as much money as you want in the bank? Eventually you’ll have enough money where you won’t have to work anymore.

But only if you work towards your goals consistently each day.

Approaching each day and each challenge with a positive mindset will help you immensely.

Gorilla Frame Control Habits

Mike offers five tips to help you maintain a positive frame, all of which are easy to implement right now.

  1. Watch your language.
    Don’t see things as “problems” but rather “challenges” that are required for growth.
  2. Remember that growth is painful.
    If you want to reach your goals, you must accept that the growth required to reach them will be painful.
  3. Remember that pain is inevitable.
    You can choose to accept the pain of growth, or suffer the pain of regret and failed dreams later in life.
  4. Take the long view.
    Stop worrying about today or tomorrow or next week. Your current challenges are what will build you into the type of person that is required to receive the success of your efforts.
  5. Embrace the suck.
    Sometimes life sucks, so deal with it. We all have to at times. Our strength is determined by our ability to push through against all odds, regardless of how we feel.

I’ve only touched the surface of mastering your “frame.” For a more in-depth understanding, check out Gorilla Mindset.

However, I can say for certain that becoming a master of your frame is a necessary step in order to see your dreams come to life.

I am still in the process of mastering mine, but along the way I’ve seen several areas of my life improve, in particular my moods, relationships, & ability to focus on a goal.

Start being optimistic today & you’ll thank me later,

Nick Hagood
Masculinity Rising

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